


to live aloud

by typo



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:29:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8506072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typo/pseuds/typo
Summary: Carmilla Karnstein returns to Silas after disappearing for six years. Laura Hollis, the only person who had made an effort to befriend her, is just glad to finally see her again. A reconnection between unexpected friends, perhaps in a different way than they ever thought possible.





	1. Reacquaintance.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm Nat,  
> I'm no author, but this is my first attempt at a fanfic or any creative story really.  
> I'm more of a drawer than a writer. :/
> 
> I hope it doesn't suck and I'm sorry if it does. 
> 
> :)

Silas had always been home to Laura, she felt comfortable walking amongst its cracked pavements and pretentious architecture that she didn't like. She knew the city back to front and if you asked, she would be able to map the dips in the concrete paths and tell you how to get from somewhere to anywhere else. But Laura didn’t consider it to be all that impressive, after all, she had never been anywhere else.

The council had decided to place a large park in the middle of the city, claiming that their citizens needed to ‘interact more with the natural environment’. Only, the park served more as a nuisance than a successful public space and most people went out of their way to avoid it in a petty act of defiance. Laura was one of many people who had their regular work routes butchered by the park, but she didn’t mind. She saw it as an opportunity for a lifestyle change and reasoning that a walk in the park never hurt anybody, she became one of the few people who actually used it.

With the sheer size of the park and the lack of people using it, the council decided to cease all maintenance except for the occasional mow. So the grass stayed short, but the vines began to slither between the bricks of the out of place half-walls and the trees stooped low over pathways, dropping leaves during Autumn that nobody raked up. It looked like a scene out of a post-apocalyptic movie and Laura loved it.

She had stayed at her office late to finalise her appointment schedule for the next day and when the time came to take the walk home, the sky had morphed into a sheet of black and her body felt heavy. But her exhaustion didn’t stop her from noticing a new addition to the ‘park people’.

A female figure was sat on the rain rusted bench, the sleeves of her oversized jumper and the toes of her scuffed boots were yellowed by the dull light of a nearby street lamp. The familiarity of the young woman’s rigid posture ignited a strange sensation within Laura.

She knew this girl.

Four steps closer and she noticed the woven, stone bracelet hanging loosely from the woman’s left wrist. Her heart rate picked up as wave of recognition washed over her.

It had been years since Laura had last seen Carmilla Karnstein and she couldn’t explain the relief she felt knowing that she was alive and well. Carmilla had taken off unexpectedly during their second year of university. Laura had asked about it but most students hadn't noticed her disappearance, and those who did either didn't know anything about it or had asked Laura themselves. Now, six years down the track, she finally had an answer to give.

Carmilla tilted her head to rest against the back of the bench. The light from the lamp hit her face. It ghosted over her shut eyelids and highlighted her sharp cheekbones and the tip of her thin nose. She was beautiful, Laura had always thought so. She looked away from Carmilla to wipe her palms over the pockets of her blazer before approaching her slowly.

She took a breath and softened her voice.

“Hey, stranger,”

The words were gentle, laced with the hint of a relieved sigh.

Carmilla jolted and her eyes shot open. Her gaze found Laura’s, eyes widening in recognition. “Laura.” she breathed out. She looked older; hair lighter and face slimmer than Carmilla remembered but she still carried that same warmth in her eyes and the quirk in her upper lip that was undeniably Laura Hollis. The same Laura who had been ever so patient when befriending and communicating with Carmilla. The same Laura that had made her feel so very, real.

Sliding her hands into her pockets, Laura put on a gentle smile. “It’s been awhile, huh? Where’d you run off to for all these years?”

Carmilla fiddled with the leather strap around her wrist as her mouth opened and closed, attempting to form a coherent sentence.

Although she was burning with curiosity, Laura waited patiently for a reply. After Carmilla had left, Laura had sometimes received questions about ‘that girl’s’ sudden disappearance, questions to which she was disappointed to not have the answers to. Carmilla’s shy and closed-off nature allowed for many acquaintances but very little friends. But despite this, a good portion of the student body knew of her, mostly due to the fact that Carmilla had carried this ever-present force wherever she went. The air would shift as she entered student littered lecture halls, she would turn heads as she walked through the hallways. Carmilla never noticed, simply just going about her day, but Laura always did. It was that same familiar energy she felt catching sight of the girl sitting on a bench in the park six years later. Laura had always hoped to see her again, but she never really expected to. Now, Carmilla was back and she was struggling to find words to respond with. Laura helped.

“What are you doing here, Carm?”

Carmilla smiled gratefully and pointed up but her gaze didn’t leave Laura. “Stargazing.” she muttered quietly.

Laura cast her eyes beyond the tips of the trees but the sky was mostly overcast, clouds hiding the stars and the soft glow of the moon.

“Not many stars to gaze at,” she said, looking back at Carmilla who shrugged lightly. Laura let out an airy laugh and cleared her throat. “Do you mind if I sit?” she asked, gesturing to the empty side of the bench. Carmilla shook her head and shuffled across to make more room for her. Laura sat down slowly, careful to leave space between them. Carmilla watched her intently before she spoke.

“How are you?” it came out soft and apprehensive. Still, it was good start for her.

Laura felt a small smile grow on her face. She remembered her first conversation with Carmilla, if it classified as one at all. She would only receive a monosyllabic feather of a word and nods in response. Laura’s heart swelled at the new development.

“I’ve been better. I’m a little tired, I worked a few extra hours today.” Laura kept the conversation light. She had noticed the slight changes in Carmilla’s voice, deeper and raspier. It suited her.

Carmilla nodded. So Laura continued.

“How are you, Carm? I haven’t seen you in what, six years? What have you been up to all this time?”

“I went to see the world.”

“The world?”

“Yes.”

Laura chuckled. “I’ve always wanted to see the world.” she paused and sighed. “Was it nice?”

“Yes.” Carmilla felt her chest warm seeing Laura smile in response. She had always felt comfortable around Laura. She was where Carmilla felt the most safe and secure. “But it is also nice to be back.” She added.

“Yeah? I haven’t been anywhere  _ but _ here. I’d like to travel someday, go somewhere that isn’t Silas.” Laura continued the conversation as casually as she could manage, trying to hide the fact that she was completely overwhelmed by Carmilla’s presence. But she had her answer. Carmilla had left her second year med course - without telling anyone - to travel… Right. “Why did you decide to travel?”

Carmilla paused to think for a moment before responding. “I was looking for something.”

“Did you find it?” Laura asked

“I don't think so.”

“Oh. That’s a shame.”

Carmilla only nodded.

"I bought a phone." Carmilla suddenly remembered. She pulled out a small black Sony from her pocket and showed it to Laura who laughed.

"You finally got one."

Laura watched as Carmilla took a deep breath, mouth opening and shutting in apprehension. "I-can, I-“ She shook her head quickly. “May I have your number?"

Laura's stomach twisted in empathy. "Of course, Carm."

Carmilla passed Laura her phone. It didn't have a passcode so Laura went straight to contacts to add her number. She let out a small breath upon seeing Carmilla's empty contact list.

"How long have you had your phone?" Laura asked whilst typing.

"Two years."

"Oh." Laura nodded. She finished typing and handed the phone back to Carmilla. She glanced at her watch. It was nearing midnight. "Hey Carm, I have an early day tomorrow at the office so I need to get back to my place." Laura said, standing from the bench. "Have you got somewhere to stay?"

Carmilla nodded. "Yes."

Laura looked her over, locking eyes for a moment before deciding she was satisfied with the answer. "It's good to see you again, Carm."

"You too." Carmilla echoed and watched Laura turn toward the south end of the park and begin to walk home.

Laura had walked for a good two minutes before she heard footsteps behind her followed by her name.

"Laura?" Carmilla's voice was small.

Laura turned, seeing that Carmilla had come after her. But she had stopped a few paces back, looking distraught. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Carmilla shuffled from one foot to the other. She looked down and fiddled with the stones on her wrist. "I'm sorry. For not saying goodbye. Before I left."

Laura's heart squeezed watching the girl in front of her. "Oh, Carm, that's okay." She walked towards Carmilla and placed her hands tentatively on her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her skin radiating through her jumper. "Please don't feel bad about that."

Carmilla nodded. "Okay." She looked pensive for a moment. "Did you get the stone?" She pointed at the empty loop in her bracelet.

That surprised Laura. She thought Carmilla had mistakenly left one of her stones behind on her desk one night. Carmilla had disappeared the following day so Laura never had the chance to give it back. Instead, she had tied it on a similar leather strap to Carmilla's and kept it safe for her.

Laura tugged the sleeve of her blazer up and lifted her arm to show Carmilla her wrist.

"I did."

And Carmilla smiled.


	2. The Comfortable Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Thanks for reading. Means a lot.
> 
> nat  
> :)

Laura Hollis was a punctual woman. She was always the first to arrive at the office, same time every morning without fail. It was also the reason she found it unusual to see the lights on when she reached her office floor.  

“Morning, Perry,” She greeted the receptionist. “Why are you here so early?”

Perry’s focus didn’t shift from the stack of files she was reordering. Her brows were furrowed in concentration, reading glasses perched precariously on the tip of her nose. It looked comical, especially with her slight pout and frazzled red hair.  

Laura watched her in amusement, taking off her bag in the process. “Perry.” She tried again.

The redhead looked up and reached to remove her glasses, eyes adjusting in the process. “Oh! Good Morning Laura!” she chirped.

Laura eyed her curiously, gaze switching between Perry and the organised mess she had made on the desk. “Is there a reason you’re here so early this morning?”

“Yes! Haven’t you heard? The office is getting refurbished.” Her hands came together excitedly as she spoke.

Laura’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. Refurbished? “No... I hadn’t heard. But, uh, thanks for the heads-up.”

“Of course.”

Laura looked around the reception. The couches were clean, the wall decor was tasteful and neither of the pot-plants were dead (which was always a good sign). In all honestly, Laura thought a refurbishment seemed unnecessary but she wasn’t going to object to it. “Hey Perry, is Lafontaine in?”

Perry looked up from her piles. “Yes, they’re in their office.”

Laura smiled in thanks and walked toward the hallway. She took a detour to her own office to drop her bag before crossing the hall and knocking on Lafontaine’s overly bright orange door.

“Come in!” She heard Laf’s muffled voice.

Laura stuck her head through the door frame. “Hey, Laf. Did you know we were getting a refurbishment?”   

Lafontaine spun in their chair. “Mornin’ Frosh. Yeah I did, but it’s more of an office makeover. We’re going for a modern look with a touch of green. It’ll be fresh, classy _and_ good for the patients. You know, with green being the colour that stimulates comfort and all. We’ll probably switch out the tables for ones with wood tones. It’ll bring the outdoors in.”

A beat.

Laura sighed. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”

Lafontaine smiled sheepishly as Laura pushed the door open and stepped further into the room. “Come on, it’ll be great. We could even get some stone monuments in. You know, like the one you wear around your wrist. But bigger!” They gestured to Laura’s bracelet. “It’ll be nice.”

Laura glanced at the stone and immediately thought of Carmilla.

“Hey Laf, do you remember Carmilla Karnstein from Uni?”

“That girl who always sat at the back of the lecture hall?”

“Yeah,”

Laf thought back six years, “I remember her, but I never spoke to her, she didn’t seem like the talkative type. Actually, I don’t think I ever saw her talk to anyone. Ever.” they paused as memories flooded back. “Wait, wasn’t she the girl who left?”

Laura nodded. “Yeah, but she’s back. I saw her yesterday night.” The sentence felt unfinished and Lafontaine half-expected her to continue talking.

“Oh, okay. Cool.” they filled the silence when nothing came out of Laura's mouth. Lafontaine didn’t have all that much to say. They didn’t know or remember much about Carmilla Karnstein. “I need to get back to cleaning. You should probably start on your office too. We’re starting the renovation tomorrow afternoon.”

“My office is getting redone? I thought it was just the reception.”

“The whole suite.”

“Of course it is...” Laura mumbled, mostly to herself. She turned to leave but spun right back around to throw a pointed look at the psychiatrist. “Laf, where are we going to work while all this is happening? I don’t think the clients will appreciate having appointments in a half torn-up room.”

“We won’t be working, Perry's rescheduled your appointments. It’ll only take a few days and you could use a break anyway.”

“Right.” With that, Laura retreated to her office, shutting the door behind her. Laura had the west, road-side office, the best office. It had a row of large, tinted windows that spanned from her desk to opposite wall. It overlooked the bustle of the traffic below and Laura amused herself by watching cars take unnecessary routes and turns to avoid the park. But apart from creating a reality television show out of Silas’ petty drivers, what she liked best about her office was its glorious view of the skyline. Laura would stay at the office after work hours to just to watch the sunset. There was nothing else quite like it. The rays of the sun would seep through the gaps in the trees and cast dancing shadows over the floor. It felt like magic and was something she always looked forward to everyday. She took a seat at her desk and sifted through some drawers, deciding against cleaning for now. Her first client would be coming in an hour or so and she didn’t want her office looking a mess when they walked in. She had the rest of the night to do it anyway.

Laura leant her elbows on the desk, placing her chin in her hands. She could feel the coolness of the gemstone under her sleeve pressing against her skin. After yesterday night, it felt a little heavier around her wrist, as if emotional significance carried an invisible but tangible weight.

 

_“It is a Tiger’s Eye.”  Carmilla said, sounding breathy._

_The name of the stone didn't mean anything to Laura, so she wasn't sure what she should say. "It's beautiful," she ended up whispering. And it was no lie, it was a gorgeous gemstone. The deepest sort of red with ribbons of shimmering gold cutting through it. It looked how silk felt._

_Carmilla's mouth twitched at the start of a smile and she bashfully looked down toward the pavement. "It is a protective stone." She continued, scuffing the toes of her boots against the path. "It gives you the courage to fight off negative energy."_

_Carmilla had given her a protective stone, something to keep her safe when she had left. Laura had to hold back tears from her eyes and the urge to wrap Carmilla up in her arms. She had worn it all these years not knowing what it was or that it had been a gift to her. In Laura's defence, it had been difficult to tell. Carmilla was someone who communicated in a slightly different manner to most people. Hers was an expression through indirect and subtle gestures, hidden meanings behind words that were sometimes too difficult to pick up on. Still, Laura felt foolish and incredibly guilty at the fact that she hadn't even considered the possibility of Carmilla wanting to gift something to her._

_“Thank you, Carm. For thinking of me.” Laura's tone was softer than the night._

_Carmilla head snapped back up. “Oh, Oka-Yes- that’s okay.” she stumbled through her words, nodding as she spoke. “You’re welcome.”_

_Laura couldn’t help but find it endearing, a slow smile spread across her face as the air around them shifted into a comfortable silence. “Am I going to see you again soon?” She asked._

_“I would like that.”_  

_“Well, you text me whenever you want, okay? Put that phone to good use.” Laura said with a gentle smile._

 

_“Okay.”_

A knock on Laura’s door sounded and Perry poked her head through.

“One of your patients are currently in the waiting room. Would you like to start the day early?”

Laura tilted her head to check the clock on the wall. “Sure. Thanks, Perry."

The receptionist handed her a file which Laura skimmed before she left the office and invited the patient in.

"Good morning, Abel. Come in, take a seat."

* * *

 

Carmilla held her phone as if it was water, in cupped hands. The device felt foreign. For the two years she had owned the phone, she never had the means to use it. But every day she put it in her pocket and took it wherever she went and every month she continued to pay her phone company that measly bill. One time, they had picked up on Carmilla's odd usage statistics, or lack thereof, and had offered to cancel the phone plan for her. She had thanked them but respectfully declined, not that the phone company was all that persistent in the first place, they were essentially receiving free pay each month anyway. Now, Carmilla had her first opportunity to, in the words of Laura Hollis, "Put that phone to good use." That'll stun the phone company for sure.

Carmilla hunted through the device for the messaging application and after some experimenting, she was able to pull up Laura’s number.

_Seven years before._

_“‘Hey’ is always a good conversation starter.” Laura explained, “It’s light, casual, and still gets the point across.”_

_“Hey,” Carmilla tested. “Hey.” She looked at Laura. “Why not ‘Hello’?”_

_Laura tapped her pen to her chin. Fair point. “Alright, “I’m going to greet you twice. You tell me which one makes you feel more comfortable.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Hello, Carmilla.” A pause for comparison. “Hey, Carmilla.”_

_As always, Laura was right. “The first one sounds like my mother.” Carmilla told her._

_Laura laughed. “So, ‘hey’ then?”_

_“Hey.” Carmilla said in affirmation._

_“Great.”_

Carmilla adjusted the phone in her hands. “Hey.” she muttered to herself.

* * *

 

Laura felt her phone buzz in her blazer pocket and set her fork down to check it.

[Unknown Number]:   **‘Hey’**

Another buzz.

                                 **‘This is Carmilla.’**

And another.

                                  **‘In case you did not know.'**

And again a few moments later.

                               **‘Would you like to meet?’**

Laura could just envision the gears turning in Carmilla’s head as she tried to form the messages. She did want to meet with Carmilla, there was so much she wanted to ask her about these past few years. But most of all, Laura wanted to know why she had left and why she hadn't told anybody. Laura almost replied with a ‘yes’ but remembered the stupid renovation that she needed to clean up for. She groaned. She doubted Carmilla wanted to spend a night cleaning an office with her.

**Laura:                          ‘Hey, Carmilla, I actually have to stay back at work to clear my office out. My colleague decided - out of the blue** **_and_ ** **last minute, may I add - that they wanted to redecorate the entire floor. If you want, you can drop by for a few hours after 5?’**

**Carmilla:                      ‘okay.’**

It was a little strange to text Carmilla. She texted like she spoke and Laura found it amusing, scanning over the messages and chuckling to herself. She sent back the address to her office and resumed eating her lunch. Laura always savoured her breaks, they were short but it allowed her to fit more clients in during the day. The clinic was oddly busy, especially for a relatively new one, only several years old. Still, Laura found the job satisfying, albeit challenging at times. She kept the mantra that the more clients she could fit in, the better it was for the clinic. Laura tilted her head toward the door as she took the last bite of her food, hearing three over-enthusiastic knocks.

“I'll be out in just a sec, Perry!”

Laura put the empty box in the bin and onwards she went.

* * *

 

Recently, the sky had been darkening earlier than usual and when it hit five o’clock, the view through Laura’s window looked like the night sky. The fluorescent lights of the street lamps down below dusted the streets with specs of light, the headlights of passing cars like shooting stars flying across.

“Laura?”

Laura turned in her chair. “Hey Perry, what are you still doing here? Are you still organising files?”

“No, I wanted to ask if you were booked for another appointment today.”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

“Well, there’s someone in the waiting room. She says she’s here to see you.”

Laura stood up, running her palms down her blazer to straighten any wrinkles. She followed Perry to reception to find Carmilla sitting in the waiting room, her fingers knotted together.

“Oh, she’s not a pa-” Laura began.

“Perr? Are you ready to go?” Lafontaine called as they rounded the hallway. They stopped abruptly upon seeing Perry and Laura turn to face them and a new face joining from behind. “Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Their eyes flitted from Perry’s to Laura’s before finally meeting Carmilla's gaze. Recognition dawned over their face. “You're the girl who left.”

“Laf!” Laura swatted their shoulder.

“You're Lafontaine” Carmilla replied. “Biomedical.”

“You know who I am?”

“Yes.”

Lafontaine smiled, “Well then, Carmilla Karnstein, it’s nice to finally meet you.” They turned to Perry. “Ready to go?” but Perry spoke to Laura.

“Are you sure you don't need a hand clearing your office?”  

“I'll be alright, thanks”

“Okay, then I'm ready.” She said to Lafontaine. “Goodnight Laura.”

“‘Night guys.”

Perry and Lafontaine helped each other carry boxes into the elevator. Laura watched as the doors slid shut behind them before turning to Carmilla who was sitting, waiting patiently. She ran a hand through her hair.

“Hey, Carmilla. Sorry about that.” Laura let her hand fall back down to her side.

“That's okay.”

“How are you?”

“Good.”

“That’s good. Well, I need to finish clearing my office.” Laura flicked the reception lights off and started walking towards the hallway, Carmilla in tow. “It's just around here.”

Carmilla stood at the door frame, examining the office. She caught sight of the large, chaise-esque lounge in the middle of the room.

“Are you a shrink?”

“Psychologist.” Laura corrected.

“My apologies. And Lafontaine?”

“Psychiatrist.”

“I see.”

Laura shuffled over to her desk, emptying the contents of her drawers into overly large cardboard boxes.

Carmilla watched her work but felt like she was being more of a nuisance than good company. “Can I help with anything?” she offered.

Laura paused for a moment, considering the offer. “If you could take all those magazines out of that cupboard.” she pointed to the opposite side of the room. “That would help me out heaps.”

Carmilla nodded and moved around the chaise to the cupboard, admiring the view outside as she walked past. “There is a supermoon tonight. First one since 1948 and the last one for 34 years.” she said suddenly.

“I heard,” Laura glanced out the windows. “But the sky's fairly overcast, I doubt we'll get the chance to see it.”

“Just have to be patient.”

A comfortable silence washed over them. The only thing that could be heard was the shuffling of stationery and the rustling of papers. It was reminiscent of that first one and a half years of uni. Laura and Carmilla sitting silently in the comfort of Laura's dorm room, each flicking through the pages of their own textbooks. The silence was never awkward between them.

Carmilla took the last of the magazines out of the cupboard and carried the boxful towards the desk. She set it down by the drawers that Laura was just finishing clearing.

“Thank-you.” Laura said as she stacked the boxes. She wiped her hands on her knees and moved to sit on the chaise, her back against the high footrest, knees bent. She patted the space in front of her which Carmilla moved into, mirroring Laura's sitting position. Both looked toward the skyline.

Laura heaved a sigh, resting her eyes for a moment. She could feel the tension cooped up in her shoulders, so tight that she felt rigid, almost able to snap. Lafontaine was right, she really did need a break. Carmilla watched her quietly from the opposite side of the chaise.

“Laura?”

“Hmm?” Laura hummed in response, eyes still shut.

“You seem tired.”

“I’ve had a long day.”

Carmilla didn’t know how to respond. “Umm… should I- would you like me to leave?”

Laura cracked an eye open and touched her palm to Carmilla’s knee. She could feel her calloused skin through the rip in her jeans. “No. No, I’m glad that you’re here.” she said softly, voice worn down by exhaustion. She sat up slowly and twisted her body to move to the centre of the chaise. Carmilla did the same, pressing their sides against each other firmly.

Carmilla immediately felt her whole body warm at the contact, she didn’t know how to explain it. Being around Laura had always made everything easier. Thinking, speaking, doing; it all was just, _simpler,_ with her. Carmilla looked out the window, she could see the patch of clouds that were hiding the moon. She watched the directions the clouds were moving before she tapped Laura on the arm.

“Look.”

“At what?”

“The moon.”

“There is no moon.” Laura laughed lightly.

“Just wait...” She paused as the clouds shifted some more. “There.”

The moon emerged from behind the clouds. The biggest and brightest that Laura had ever seen it. It blazed through the sky, the light hitting the trees, doing what the sunset did by casting shadows of swaying trees around her office.

“Wow.” she breathed out. She looked down at her hands, across both her and Carmilla’s legs. The way the light hit and danced along the walls put Laura into a trance.

“It’s better away from the city. Less light pollution.” Carmilla murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I stargazed on a jetty in a small town called Mallacoota. One of the most beautiful sights I have ever experienced.”

Laura exhaled heavily. “I’ve never known anything but the city. I want to travel but I’ve been so preoccupied with work that I’ve never had the chance to.”

Carmilla thought for a moment. “How long does your renovation go for?”

“wha- Oh, a few days, apparently.”

Deep breath. “Do you want to come somewhere?” Carmilla asked tentatively. “With me?”

Laura turned her head to eye her suspiciously. “Where would we go? I’ve seen all there is to see here at Silas.”

“We’ll go elsewhere.” Carmilla simply stated.

“Elsewhere?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”


	3. A little new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> Yes it has been over two years. But I promised someone that I would finish this and I hate breaking promises.  
> This chapter has been changed and the rest of the story has now been edited.
> 
> enjoy
> 
> Nat :)

Since Laura had met Carmilla, she had been intrigued by her. The way she would sit too straight, or the way her eyes darted about whilst she spoke, how she would spout sentences that sounded like they had been pried from a textbook. Her entire mannerism was slightly strange, Laura thought it was overly tight. She always looked like she was concerned about something.

Carmilla had told her to pack light. She had also told her to pack warm which Laura didn't quite understand. She had always associated warm clothes with ‘all the clothes’ but even so, she managed to fit the essentials into a small backpack she dug out from the back of her closet. Laura knew how to pack warm, her father had always been adamant about keeping warm and not getting sick, especially not due to something “as insignificant as the weather.”

Laura eyed the backpack sitting on the bed. It was the same bag she carried around high school and it was times like these that she wished she had bothered to get a new one. But really, she didn't have much of a need for it. She took a satchel to and from work everyday and found that it was perfect for carrying the necessities. Laura quickly finished throwing whatever else would fit into the backpack and decided to rest before Carmilla came around to pick her up.

The doorbell chimed at 4:30 in the morning, Carmilla stood on the other side of the door looking far too awake.

“Do you get sea-sick?” She had blurted it as soon as Laura had swung the door open and regretted it straight after.

Laura blinked in confusion. “Sorry. I totally missed that.” she said.

“Do you get sea-sick?”

“Are we going on a ferry?” Laura's eyes lit up.

“Something like that.”

She led Laura towards her car. Carmilla could afford a new one, but she continued to drive a beat-up ute. Scratches lined the sides, the bonnet was rusted and the bumper was clinging for dear life. It was the same one Carmilla drove during her time at University. Laura thought it was charming at the time, but now she was genuinely worried that the car was going to fall apart.

“I have not used it since university. But, it is still sturdy…” Carmilla said as she toed the bumper back into place.

Laura gave some slow, apprehensive nods. “Let's hope so.” she said, throwing her bag into the car and climbing into the passenger seat.

 

* * *

 

The stereo crackled when Laura tried to turn it on so she opted to sit in silence. Carmilla had her eyes on the road and a tight grip on the wheel. There was something about driving in the darkness that made Carmilla seem more quiet than she actually was. Throughout the trip, she had made short comments every now and again either about the surroundings or the weather. Laura didn’t mind, there was a silky quality to Carmilla’s voice that she had always enjoyed listening to, so any word uttered by Carmilla was always savoured. Laura didn’t want to disturb her but she just really wanted to know where they were going.

“Carm?” She broke the silence.

“Yes?” Carmilla shuffled in her seat to hide the fact she had jumped at the sound of Laura's voice.

“Where are we going?”

Carmilla cleared her throat. “I already told you.”

“No, you told me that I’ll “see when we get there.”” Laura made quotation marks with her fingers.

“You will.”

“Can you just tell me now?”

“It’s only a few more hours.”

Laura huffed and went back to fiddling with the stereo buttons.

 

* * *

 

“You never answered my question.” Carmilla realised.

“What question?”

“Do you get sea-sick?”

“Oh, that. I don’t think I get sea-sick, but I’m not quite sure. I’ve never had the chance to check.” Laura laughed quietly. “You never answered my question either.”

Carmilla didn’t recall a question. “What was your question?” she asked.

“Where are we going?” Laura had a playful glint in her eye that made the corners of Carmilla’s mouth twitch upward.

“I did answer it.” she smiled.

“That wasn’t a real answer.” She watched Carmilla smile grow. “I’ll find a way to make you spill the beans.” Laura challenged.

Carmilla bit her lip to hide her smile.   

 

* * *

 

The dawn had started to break and the sun was chasing the truck down the road. Laura watched as the rays lit up the sides of Carmilla’s face, highlighting the side of her nose.

“Okay, talk to me.”

Carmilla rocked her head to the side. “What about?”

Laura twisted in her seat, bouncing slightly as she did so. “I don’t know, anything. I feel like we don’t know each other anymore.”

Carmilla frowned. “Well, you know my name and I know your name.”

Laura drummed her fingers against the dashboard, back to watching the road ahead. “That’s different. Tell me about you.”

Carmilla paused for a moment. Thinking. “I like green.”

“Yeah? What kind of green?”

“Emerald. And the kind you see on the pine trees. That is a very nice green.”

“What else do you like?”

“I.. I like people. But I don’t think I’m so good with them.” Carmilla said with a sad shake of her head.

“Why do you say that?”

“I… I am not a very good talker. But I am getting better.”

“Well, I think you’re a fine talker, and I talk to people for a living.”

Carmilla let out a hum. “I enjoy conversing with others, just small conversations with people who you meet in different places.”

“Where do you go to meet people?”

“I like the bars. I meet a lot of people in the big ports, other hikers in the mountain ranges, the people waiting for the same train....”

“Have you kept in touch with any of them?”

“No. I only talk with them for the night and then I never see them again.”

“Like an unfulfilling one night stand.” Laura chuckled.

“Yes.” Carmilla let out a small laugh of her own. “Although I have never understood the one night stands.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Why people choose to have them. You share your body with a person you do not know.”

“I don’t know. Many people just do it to have a little fun.”

“Have you had a one night stand?” It was a completely serious question, not suggestive nor judgemental. It made Laura hold in her shock at the blatant question, but she wasn’t quick enough to hide her splutter. She disguised it with a cough.

“I- uhh- well, yes?” She scratched at her hairline. “A few times.”

“Did you have fun?” Carmilla met her eyes briefly.

“I... guess so.”

“Hmm.” Camilla nodded to herself.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh. I- is that not an appropriate question?”

“No, it’s a perfectly fine question.” She rethought that. “Maybe just don’t make that your icebreaker.” Laura said with a few pats to Carmilla’s forearm.

 

* * *

 

“Do you know where you’re going?” Laura looked out at the endless fields they were driving through. She could hear the tyres rolling along the gravel path below them, making the car jostle around more than it should. She turned to face Carmilla, who looked preoccupied by her thoughts.

“Carmilla.”

“Yes?” Carmilla tilted her head toward her.

“Do you know approximately how much longer?”

“Half an hour.”

Laura turned back to watching the road. “The beach doesn’t look half an hour away.”

“We are not going to the beach.”

“Well I doubt there are any ocean clearings nearby either.”

“Actually, ther-” she caught herself mid-sentence and turned to look at Laura, who was smiling. “Oh.” she muttered. Carmilla followed the gravel lane with her eye. She was slightly disappointed in herself for breaking so easily. She wanted it to be a surprise. She also didn’t want give Laura a reason to back out before they reached the water.

“So, can you tell me where we’re going now?”

Carmilla adjusted her hands on the steering wheel. “We are going to a small property. It has a small section of a river that leads out into the ocean.”

“And what about the sea-sickness questions? Are we going on the water?”

Carmilla paused briefly. “Do you promise not to turn back now?”

Laura’s smile dropped slightly. “Why would I want to turn back?”

Carmilla readjusted her grip on the steering wheel. “I- I don’t know if you’ll like what I have planned. I- um- I’m not quite sure whether you’ll want to come with me.” Carmilla kept her eyes on the road, trying not to look at Laura.

“Carm,” Laura placed her hand over Carmilla’s on the gear shift. “Of course I want to go with you. This is my first time out of Silas, I'm not turning back.”

Carmilla felt warm.

“Okay.” she said. “Today, we are sailing through an ocean.”

 

* * *

 

The fields gradually morphed into forests where Carmilla took sharp right into the property. A small wooden cabin could be seen from behind the trees, a shoddy tin garage was beside it. They arrived at nine in the morning because Carmilla wanted to prepare some things before they left. She had parked the car in the garage and Laura followed her, pulling her bag out of the back seat and hopping out of the car.

It didn’t take Laura long to fall in love with the cabin. It was very Carmilla. Private, rustic, natural. The air smelled like pine and birds chirped softly in the trees overhead. Laura examined the grain of the wood used to build the cabin, it ran horizontally and imperfectly. Laura reached out to touch it. Rows of dark wooden slats lined the sides at each wall and entrance supports were large logs that had been roughly sanded down.

“Laura.” Carmilla stood by the garage, waiting expectantly.

Laura tore her eyes from the house and met Carmilla’s that were beckoning her over. She picked up her bag and followed Carmilla to the back of the house. They walked down a small hill which led to a large lake. It was a beautiful sight alone, but what really surprised Laura was the extremely out-of-place - and expensive looking -  yacht sitting adjacent to the rickety jetty. A stark contrast to Carmilla’s truck.

Carmilla didn’t say anything, she just waited for Laura to.

“You have a yacht?!” Laura exclaimed.

“Yes.”

“Holy shit!” Laura ran her eyes over it.

Carmilla didn’t know how to gauge that reaction. “I-um... Is there something wrong with it?” she began to worry.

“No! Not at all! Just- How did you afford a yacht? Not to pry or anything, of course. But Carmilla, you left uni and disappeared and you have a _yacht_? Where have you been working and can you get me some work there too?” Laura rambled through a laugh.

“Inheritance.” Carmilla said shortly, but it didn’t look like Laura was paying all that much attention, her eyes were still trained on the boat. “I’m going to get it ready. You can take a look inside first. If you want.” Carmilla fiddled with her bracelet.

“Wait, we’re taking _this_ yacht?!”

“Yes.”

Laura exhaled in amazement. “Awesome.” She smiled.

Carmilla went into the cabin to fetch a few items and left Laura to explore the yacht. It looked far too expensive for Laura to set foot on so she was happy just examining the exterior. It was like a modern piece of art, all sleek curves and sharp edges. White all around with navy blue accents lining the bottom and the sides. On the left side of the boat, just below the tinted windows read ‘Atlantis 50’ in script. A large curved roof sat overhead a seating and entertainment area in the middle of the boat, both the front and back had a small deck area. Perfect for stargazing.

“Do you not want to go in?” Carmilla asked, her voice cut through suddenly. She was carrying a bag of food, some rope, and a multi-tool knife.

“Of course I do, but look at it! I feel like I’m not worthy enough to step foot in it.” Laura laughed and gestured to the yacht.

Carmilla smiled to herself and dropped onto the back of the boat, causing it to bob slightly on the water. She set her things down before extending a hand to Laura who took it with a gentle grip, lowering herself into the boat and steadying herself on Carmilla in the process.

“Thanks.” Laura breathed out which Carmilla nodded in response to. With her hand still around Laura’s, Carmilla led her inside the boat. Even though physical contact was still quite foreign to her, she enjoyed the comfort of having Laura with her, the warmth of her hand in her own. Over the past six years she had been alone for the most part. Chatting with barfolk here and there, meeting lots of new people but never any friends. Carmilla knew she wasn't the best at keeping friendships, so she was content with the small conversation she took part in. Carmilla wasn't in any one place for long though, and on top of that, most people hadn't really bothered to stay around. Except Laura, who - even after all this time - was still here and still kind, warm and everything she’d been missing. A constant. A friend.

The interior of the yacht was all crisp, white, luxury furniture and Laura felt out of place immediately. She was in a pair of denim shorts and a t-shirt, carrying a tattered backpack and standing in a luxury yacht. She followed Carmilla toward the pilot seat and let go of her hand as they descended the small staircase.

“There are two cabins for sleeping but I need to clear one out. I’ve been using it for storage and there are a few large items in there so it might take a bit of time.” Carmilla explained as they walked through the kitchen area.

“You don’t need to clear it out if there’s stuff in there that you need. I’m fine with sharing a cabin.” Laura turned to face Carmilla. “That is, if it’s okay with you, of course.” she added quickly.

There was only one bed in each cabin. “Are you… Are you okay with sharing a bed?” Carmilla asked slowly.

“That’s perfectly fine.”

Carmilla nodded and led Laura into the master cabin. A large king size bed sat in the middle of the back wall, mirrors lining the wall above it. Expensive looking lights sat on either side. The bed was in a large, white, leather frame that matched the soft carpet and the golden accents on the wall. On one wall there was a long window which sat half above and half submerged in the water. Carmilla watched Laura as she looked around the cabin, the sunlight streaming in through the window lit up the highlights in her hair.

“This is the front Cabin. You can put your stuff anywhere. There are drawers.” Carmilla said.

“Wow, this is insane..” Laura turned around but Carmilla was gone, having retreated quickly to the main deck of the boat. Laura set her bag down by the sliding wardrobe doors, deciding to give Carmilla some space after her rapid exit. She walked gently around the room, looking out the large window. No fish, but it was still surreal to be this close to the water.

Silas had no beaches, unless you wanted to drive five hours out of town, so Laura had never seen the ocean. Small lakes and creeks were around if you looked hard enough but for the most part, it was an industrial town with an unappreciated park slapped in the middle. Laura was not the most impressed with their town planner.

She decided to take herself on a tour through the boat. Outside the master bedroom was the hallway which opened to a kitchen and bar to the right and the stairs to the front of the boat to the left. The kitchen was all black marble benchtops and glass cabinets, an spotless island bench in the middle with three lights hanging from the ceiling. A steel fridge sat to the right closeby to a circular bar Laura knew was made for entertaining. Although she couldn’t imagine what kind of guests Carmilla would bring here to entertain.

Returning to the upper deck she found Carmilla at the back of the boat, sleeves rolled to her elbows as she unwound the rope that anchored the yacht to the jetty. Carmilla hadn’t noticed Laura coming back up the stairs. She was halfway through untying the knots when she heard Laura’s voice.

“Where did you get that from?” Laura pointed to the scar running up Carmilla’s forearm.

Carmilla looked up at her, glancing briefly at her arm before meeting Laura’s gaze. “I went rock climbing. There was a protruding rock that I had not noticed and it cut my arm. I stitched it up when I completed the climb.”

“You stitched it up yourself? They’re neat.” Laura sounded impressed.

“Yes, I went to medical school.”

Laura scoffed playfully “Yeah, for a year and a half.”

Carmilla smiled and finished untying the rope. “Ready to go?”

“Definitely.”

 

* * *

 

Carmilla was in the captain’s pit, guiding the yacht along the water. Laura sat behind her, watching in fascination. She was enjoying the feeling of the boat pushing through the currents, she rested her head against the window to feel the movements.

“Do you want to sit on the deck?” Carmilla asked.

“That one?” Laura pointed out the window to the front of the boat.

“Yes. Go and feel the wind. It is very pleasant.”

Laura gave her a funny look, before she got up from where she was sitting to make her way to the front deck. Carmilla watched her leave. She climbed onto the deck and sat against the backrests of the built in seats. She held her arms out to the sides to ‘feel the wind’ and couldn't help but laugh out loud at how ridiculously Titanic this felt. Carmilla did have a point about the wind though. The smell of the ocean invaded her senses and the rush of the wind past her face and in her hair was oddly thrilling, it rippled through her clothes, touched her skin and feathered over the back of her neck. All of a sudden Laura could feel how tense she was, all the stress that she loaded onto her back by working non stop. But it all whisked away with the wind and the breath that she was letting out in sighs through her mouth. She felt herself smiling.

Carmilla knew the feeling and she watched in awe. A smile spreading across her own face at Laura's unrestrained laughter. She was glad that Laura seemed to be enjoying herself so far. It was hard to believe that Laura had never been anywhere other than Silas. She was so rounded and cultured and you'd think she had been everywhere in the world. Carmilla wished she could take her to somewhere out of the country or just further from Silas. There were so many places to go, but this was the best she could come up with for the moment.

 

* * *

 

They had arrived at the next jetty two hours before sundown. Carmilla tied up the boat while Laura watched before heading down to the kitchen to cook dinner.

“You’ve got a real fancy kitchen.”

“Yes. But I am not a fancy person.”

“Pfft. You have a circular bar.” Laura whipped her hand around to point at it.

Carmilla just shrugged. “Do you like shrimp?” She asked as she brought out a pot.

Laura narrowed her eyes at her and laughed. “You _are_ a fancy person.”

They had eaten as the sun set, on comfortable couches out in the open air, lit only by the dim lighting in the captain’s pit.

The sky had turned dark enough that Carmilla noticed the ocean lighting up around the edges of the rocking boat. She took Laura’s hand with a "come with me." and pulled her to the back deck.

“Dip your feet in the water.” Carmilla said as she sat down on the deck.

Laura eyed her curiously. “Okay..” she drawled apprehensively. She followed Carmilla to a sitting position and dipped her legs into the ocean.

“Woah.” Laura breathed out. Each movement she made caused the ocean to light up a neon blue around her legs and feet.

“Bioluminescent algae.” Carmilla explained. “It's nice to swim in.” she added.

“Can we swim here?”

“Most likely.”

Laura stood up and stripped off her shirt and shorts. Carmilla immediately forced herself to look away.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Going for a swim.”

“Now? Um, do you want to put bathers o-” a splash interrupted Carmilla mid-sentence.

“Oh my gosh, look at it!” Laura's face was lit a gorgeous blue, little beads of glowing algae stuck to her skin. “Come on, Carmilla.” she gestured for Carmilla to join.

“I-I need to go get changed first.” Carmilla stammered as she got to her feet.

“No! Just ditch the shirt and pants and get in!”

“I- okay.” Carmilla took a breath and followed her instructions, slipping into the water and letting the cold engulf her immediately. The algae lit up around her and reminded her of the night sky which was equally as beautiful overhead.

“Laura, look up.”

Laura stopped playing with the water and tilted her head back. She was rendered speechless.

“That is what the night sky should look like.”

It was the most stars Laura had ever seen in any one place. The swirling cosmos were so clear that she wanted to reach out and grab them. She looked back at Carmilla who was also looking up at the sky. This woman led a different life, a life of exploration and wonder. It was so different from Laura’s life in the city. Laura had always loved nature but she hadn’t realised how much she was missing until now, and she couldn't thank Carmilla enough. Carmilla knew a lot, and Laura realised it must have come from her travels.

“You've been a lot of places, huh?”

Carmilla looked back at Laura. “Yeah.”

“Do you have a favorite?”

Carmilla couldn't pick, but she was thoroughly enjoying tonight. “No.” She said simply.

“That's fair. If they were all this beautiful, I'd never be able to pick.”

Carmilla couldn't agree more, but between Laura, the bioluminescent galaxy swirling below and the endless night sky above, tonight, she felt a little bit happier.

 

* * *

 

Carmilla let Laura choose her side of the bed whilst she went to shower. Laura took the left, but Carmilla always slept on the right anyway, so she was more than comfortable with that.

It did feel a little strange to share a bed with somebody, especially after venturing alone for so long. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to have anybody else around, but being alone never bothered her. From young, she had been used to entertaining herself, so much so, that she had begun to lose touch with her ability to socialise.

Laura had picked up on this behaviour during their time at university. Carmilla never initiated conversation with anyone and when she was spoken to, she would respond with short sentences and nods. Laura, amidst the busyness of her psychology course, had taken a small interest in Carmilla and it had become the beginning of their friendship. When Carmilla had left, Laura just hoped that whatever she had tried to teach her was taken on board and Laura found some comfort in the fact that it appeared that her efforts had not gone to waste.

Carmilla returned from upstairs, her hair still slightly damp from the shower after the impromptu swim in the ocean, her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and her shirt was buttoned low on her torso.

“Laura? Is the bed okay? Because I can set the other one up for you if you would like. Or I can use the other one if you prefe-”

“Carmilla.” Laura interrupted gently. “The bed is perfect.”

Carmilla blew a shaky breath out. “Okay. Good. That’s good.” she said, nodding to herself. She walked over to left side of the bed and slowly crawled under the covers next to Laura. She hit a button close to the headboard and the lights faded to black. Carmilla lay on her back and tried her hardest not to move or disturb the woman next to her. In the darkness, she turned her head to look at Laura who was facing her, eyelids half open. She smiled when she caught Carmilla’s eyes.

“Goodnight, Carm. And thank you, for today.” Laura said softly.

Carmilla felt her body warm at Laura’s words and gentle gaze. “That- no pro- you’re welcome.” She mentally cursed herself for stuttering so much. “Um. Goodnight.” she added quietly.

She could hear Laura’s breathy laugh from the other side of the bed.

“Goodnight, Carmilla.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr! I probably blog better than I write.  
> flarh.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> :)


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